The Secret Files Vol. Infinity

So it looks like basically a lot of people are wondering about the future of the blog and what is going to happen about it. I am a pretty mysterious guy most of the time but since you have all made me totally rich and famous from this blog I am going to let you in on some little secrets about how I have been able to write so many amazing blogs in such a small period of time.

This is the first secret which I will start calling secret number 1 from now on. Secret number 1 is that I have been waiting my whole life to start this blog. I have been saving up ideas for this blog since before blogs were even invented. It's not really a surprise that I was able to fire off so many amazing blogs right from the start huh. If I am not blogging so much as I used to it's because I ran out of backlogged ideas so get off my junk about it.

OK so secret number 2 is pretty much the same as secret number 1 except it is a more specific version of it. Secret number 2 is that when I started this blog I was writing like 3 of these a day and just saving them. Remember about how I said I was totally mysterious? Well I was making it look like I was blogging every day but I was really just popping off some stale blogs I had been saving up inside the blog. There is a place for saved drafts in here and it comes in handy for faking the appearance of a steady blog output. This is probably some kind of blogger's trick but since I never heard about any one else doing it I am just going to take credit for inventing it.

I guess I am pretty much at secret number 3 now. Secret number 3 is that from the start I wasn't working alone on coming up with ideas. Lots of people were writing me emails and being like hey blog about this and I wrote them back and said ok fine I will. Then I would make a totally incredible blog and take all the credit for it. This worked out really well for me. The problem is that all the idea givers got either pissed off with me or bored and they quit feeding me the ideas. Pretty much it has been a problem.

Well now you know all of my secrets that were going on behind the scenes. This blog went from a tiny idea into a giant corporate machine with teams of writers working around the clock to bring hilarious and brilliant Full House blogs to the masses. But then those teams quit and left me here with this dumb blog that I have to keep up with. Even though it's rewarding it's also really hard and annoying and I don't do too good with either of those things.

I guess the fate of this blog reminds me a lot of the fate of Full House itself. As I am sure everyone remembers, Full House never had a series finale episode. ABC just canceled it in the off season with no warning. It was pretty much incredibly rude considering what an awesome show it had been. But ABC just did what it had to do.

After ABC canceled the show, I spent the next 13 years (1995-present) extremely angry about it. But today I think I understand what they must have been thinking. If there is no last episode then there is no reason to say goodbye and you can just spend the rest of your life fantasizing about what the characters are up to. That is what I do every day and it is usually the best part of my day. So even though I am still pissed that they don't make new Full Houses, I am glad they never officially ended it.

That is the point of today's blog. Well there are two points actually. The first point is that I will never end this blog even if I can't blog so much as I used to. Full House showed me that officially ending things is retarded. The second point is that you better start emailing me some blog ideas if you want more awesome blogs. I guess you could leave the ideas as comments but that makes it way harder for me to take complete credit for them which I love.

Well I hope you are all happy about how I leveled with you today.