Blog blog

So today has been the most horrible day ever of my blogging career. Pretty much I started writing a blog this morning and everything was going fine. As usual it was totally hilarious and incredible except it wasn't really coming together at the end like it usually does. So I changed a little of the front part so it would tie in to the ending. It tied in to the ending alright but then the middle part was all jacked up. So I tweaked the middle and that threw off the beginning again. Needless to say I was really pissed and my company would have been too if they had known I had spent like almost two hours on that blog instead of working. But I am an artist and I felt like I had to finish it. But the more I changed it, the worse it got and more I was wanting to kick somebody in the balls. I needed a breather.

I took a really long lunch and thought about what was going wrong with the blog. I just couldn't figure it out. It was like one of those tricky games they sell at Cracker Barrel that is like three metal rings hooked together and if you twist them just right they come apart but it takes you like five hours to figure out how so you end up f-ing with it for your whole meal and you are so pissed and frustrated that you have to buy it and take it home until you figure it out or you will never be able to get over it and move on with your life. That is how this blog was feeling to me.

No matter how many things I moved in the blog though it just wouldn't budge. It wasn't becoming the blog I wanted it to be. What was worse it included a story about me doing one of the most awesome things I have ever done. I can't tell it now though, that is a gem for another day. OK fine I will tell it now.

When I was 14 I came up with a plan to dip an old shirt in gasoline, wrap the gas-soaked shirt around the end of a sharpened stick, light it on fire and throw it javelin-style into a gigantic hornets nest full of angry hornets of doom. I totally launched the stick into the nest and it burst into flames. It was freaking awesome to see it go up in flames and lots of the hornets were flying around on fire - no joke. As you can imagine I got attacked by a few of the firey hornets and I ran down the street squealing like a bitch in front of all my friends and I rolled on the ground until they were done stinging me. Doesn't that sound cool to think about? It doesn't even make sense in this blog but I wanted to tell it anyway so there you have it.

Anyway, obviously that blog just wasn't meant to be. After working on it all day long I decided to just scrap it and blog about how pissed I am about the old blog. That all reminded me of when Michelle was trying to earn her HoneyBee badge in cooking on Full House. She kept making cookies over and over but they all sucked. Everyone was trying to not hurt her feelings but they were also trying not to barf from the awful cookies. Well Michelle just kept making more and all the cookies kept sucking so she was like, screw this I am done trying to earn that HoneyBee badge. I took that as inspiration to quit trying to make that blog happen. The moral of the story was that sometimes it is fine to quit.

Now that I think about it Michelle either quit or she kept on trying until she succeeded. I don't really remember to be honest. It's not important now. All that's important is that her cookies sucked and that blog sucked and people shouldn't have to choke down either one. If you are a fan of this blog and you don't think this one is up to snuff then you can suck it. This is the blog you are getting today and you are lucky that you are getting any blog at all.