Late Bloomer

So everyone keeps telling me that I need to grow up. Or that I have a lot of growing up left to do like maybe I have started growing up but not gotten very far with it. In some ways I have always had to deal with this, mostly because I am late bloomer. Sometimes I don't even bloom at all. Personally I just feel like everyone needs to shut up and that they are out to get me and make me feel bad. I can't help not blooming on time.

It took me a really long time to learn how to tie my shoes pretty much because I didn't want to learn. My shoes were all velcro and I wasn't in the mood to stop wearing velcro shoes. Since I wasn't totally allowed to pick my own shoes back then I didn't want to risk getting switched from velcro to laces so I just refused to learn how to tie a shoe. Eventually though people kept picking on me about it (they were out to get me as usual) so I just went ahead and learned. It wasn't very hard because I was about 10 by then.

That isn't even the only example about me being a late bloomer. I was like 15 years old before I ever even did a drug. Hard to believe but it's true. And I was like 16 before I ever shoplifted anything. Gosh I am going to stop, this is getting embarrassing telling everyone how long it took me to do things.

See the problem with me is, people are always trying to do things for me instead of letting me learn them for myself. Everyone treats me like I am totally helpless. Obviously I am not totally helpless or I couldn't figure out how to make people do things for me all the time. I know how to look sad and confused at just the right time to make people be like, oh holy crap this will be easier if I just do it. That doesn't sound like a person who is helpless to me.

The only thing I can't seem to master is getting people to teach me things. This can be good and bad. Like at work, there is a girl who knows a lot of important things like where the printers are. I don't want to learn about where the printers are so I just ask her to print something out if I need it and also ask for her to go get it and also for her to bring it to me. She doesn't seem to have a problem with this and acts like it is faster than if I were doing it alone. When she is absent from work though, I can't print anything. Not my blogs, not pictures I make in paintbrush - nothing. Only then do I wish I knew the stuff she knows.

I also start to worry sometimes like what if she dies. If she dies I will never be able to print anything again without having to tell someone that I never knew how to print in the first place. I would never tell anyone that so I am totally screwed if she dies.

Basically this late blooming problem I have reminds me a lot of Michelle and her training wheels. I am sure you remember that one episode where Joey took her bike riding with no training wheels and she told him to let go of her while she was riding. Well Joey did let go and Michelle totally smashed face first right into a huge bush. Then she blamed Joey for it even though he was just doing what she said for him to do. Don't worry they patched things up later.

But the point is, if I start asking people to let me do things on my own, I can see myself becoming a huge bitch about it like Michelle. I will probably blame people and pout and threaten them too. But I think it's important for me to start learning things. Pretty much now is my time to bloom.