Awesome is only skin deep

I woke up this morning an hour before the alarm because I was thinking about stuff. There is a lot of pressure on me about the blog these days but I can handle all that. What I was thinking about is about how I don't have a tattoo. Some days I can live with it but other days it is almost too much to take.

The problem with tattoos is that you can't get rid of them. As much as I love tattoos, I love getting rid of things even more. A tattoo is a thing that I could see wanting to get rid of pretty much the first time somebody ever made fun of it. For years I have been trying to think up the perfect tattoo that nobody could ever even make fun of no matter how hard they tried. They would start to want to make fun of it but then they would just blurt out - you're a badass. And I would agree to let them buy me dinner.

There is only one flaw to this plan which is that I can't think of a tattoo to get. Lord knows I have spent enough time around tattoos to be able to have thought of one by now. But it's like the pressure is building just because I don't have a tattoo and it's pretty stupid to get your first one when you are old as me. I have a plan for that too, I am going to not tell anybody that I got it and then whenever they point it out I will be like oh wow are you just now noticing that because I almost forget that it's there after eight years. Then they will feel dumb and my secret will be safe.

So you can see that I have plans for everything but what the tattoo is going to be of. Well when I was awake this morning I was just trying to accept the fact that there is only one perfect tattoo in history and Jesse already has it. That tattoo has wings and a circle in the middle but these aren't the only cool parts about it. It is the perfect tattoo for his wardrobe because he has a lot of shirts with no sleeves just like me. It is also the perfect size and shape for his athletic arms and Mediterranean skin tone. So where does this leave me?

I'll tell you where it leaves me - right back here on the internet blogging about Full House at 5AM. Since I was awake, I decided to do a little research on his tattoo. What I found out was so shocking I almost barfed. It seems that Jesse's famous, lovely, perfect tattoo....is a fraud.

That's right, John Stamos (the actor who portrayed Jesse Katsopolis on Full House) has no such tattoo. I took a couple of pain pills to help take the edge off and also to help me decide what to do. Does the fact that this tattoo was fake mean that it wasn't so cool as I thought it was? F that it's probably twice as cool as I even think it was. So this can mean only one thing...this tattoo is up for grabs.

Since nobody has this perfect tattoo in real life, I guess it's time for me to change that. I immediately begun drawing one on my own arm that I am going to get tattood on later today. I even skipped work so I could go get it done right after my nap. Tomorrow's blog will be about how jealous you are.