Say Uncle

Basically my mom confronted me about the blog today. So I would just like to take this opportunity to say thanks to whoever reads my blog and hangs out with my mom and told her about it. I really appreciate you doing that because I don't have enough people in my life telling me about how I don't live up to their expectations. I obviously I have no way of knowing who you are but you know who you are and if the guilt kills you then so be it.

Anyway, she was pretty much on my case about glorifying things in my blog that I shouldn't be glorifying. Things like abusing substances and not being all that good at things. She reminded me of one crucial fact: I am an uncle.

That's right, for the past seven years I have been an uncle. It all started the day my brother's ex-girlfriend gave birth to his kid. I have been this kid's uncle ever since.

As far as I know he doesn't have any uncles except for me. I like not having any competition in the uncle department even though I would probably blow any other uncles out of the water. When it comes to being an uncle, Jesse is pretty much the best example of how to be one and I learned everything he knows. If you follow his lead all you have to do is be awesome and play in a band to be a perfect uncle. I don't play in a band right now but it's pretty obvious that I have the awesome part covered.

But my mom was all, look at your embarrassing blog and how much it is humiliating our family. In case you haven't noticed, our family can't really afford any more major embarrassments these days. The way you talk about drinking and smoking and cussing, what kind of example do you think that sets for your nephew?

I was like look lady, my nephew is going to end up doing a drug or two in his lifetime so you might as well just start accepting that now. Second of all, do you know what people love about me more than anything? They love that I keep it real. And my blog keeps it real. And I think that is a great example for any kid to follow.

My mom got tears in her eyes and told me that I was a hundred percent right as usual. Then she said that I had grown up to be twice the uncle that Jesse ever was. I said that she shouldn't get carried away but that I appreciated the compliment.

Then me and my nephew went in the back yard and shot a cat with a sling shot. I had a lot of fun today.